Keep Kind Intentions

"Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself."
– Mohsin Hamid

In considering kindness, empathy is a critical aspect of putting kindness in action. While empathy is often thought of as a soft skill character trait, many researchers believe that mirror neurons, or at least a mirroring mechanism, form the basis of empathy. When speaking with others face to face, mouth mirror neurons and facial mimicry appear to be the basis for being empathetically connected to other individuals.This scientific mechanism shows that what we call empathy is not an innate character trait, but instead is a skill that can be learned and practiced.

But what does an empathy practice routine actually look like? Obviously there is (not yet) a local “empathy gym” where we can go and put in our reps. Fortunately, the skill of empathy can be honed through various practices that help expand our capacity to understand and share the feelings of others. Here are five specific activities that complement the scientific understanding of empathy, particularly focusing on the role of mirror neurons and the concept of mimicry in fostering empathetic connections. These activities can help to enhance your empathy through practical and engaging means:

1. Volunteer for causes that matter to you to nurture a deeper connection with the community and align personal goals with broader social impact. This experience allows you to meet people from diverse backgrounds and understand their perspectives, challenges, and joys, thus fostering empathy.

2. Participate in active listening exercises. Set aside time to engage in conversations where your primary goal is to listen and understand the other person's perspective without judgment. Practice reflecting back what you've heard to ensure you've understood correctly. This exercise strengthens the neural pathways associated with empathy by focusing on facial and vocal cues, enhancing your ability to connect with others' emotions.

3. Engage in role-reversal or perspective-taking activities. Spend a day or a few hours stepping into someone else's shoes. For instance, if you're a teacher, you could try doing some of the assignments you give to your students. If you work in an office, you might spend a day doing some of the tasks of the cleaning staff. These activities help you understand and feel the challenges, limitations, and satisfactions of others' experiences, which is a core component of empathy.

4. Practice mindfulness and meditation focused on empathy. Certain mindfulness practices are designed to enhance compassionate and empathetic responses. Loving-kindness meditation (LKM) is one example where you focus on developing feelings of goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards others, starting with close loved ones and extending to all living beings. This practice can increase your emotional resonance with others, thereby activating the mirroring mechanisms that underpin empathy.

5. Join or form a book or movie club with a focus on diverse experiences. Select books or films that explore life from the perspective of people different from yourself—whether by culture, socioeconomic status, nationality, or life experiences. Discussing these stories in a group setting can enhance your understanding and empathy for people whose lives are different from your own. This activity leverages narrative empathy, where engaging with stories enables us to live vicariously through the experiences of characters, thus fostering a deeper emotional and cognitive understanding of others.

Incorporating these activities into your routine can help develop and strengthen your empathy. Remember, empathy is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. Engaging with these exercises can help you not only in personal development but also in making meaningful contributions to your community and society at large.