Remembering the Inevitably New You

The future self that you remember will bear little resemblance to the current “you”. In fact, researchers have found that our identity continues to evolve and transform well into our 80s and beyond. This research holds true across ages and geographies all over the world. Even on a relatively short time horizon of 5 - 10 years, current you may barely recognize future you when you eventually meet them walking down the road!

This surprising and apparently universal identity transformation engine built into the human psyche is certainly cause for a pause… If the future you is already and undeniably in flux, what does this mean in terms of goal setting and visualization?

1). At the edges and right to down your very core, identity can be revised, and revised again. Despite what Lynyrd Skynyrd sang, you are a free bird - and Lord knows… you CAN change. The question is - do you want to be deliberate about how this change unfolds, or just sit back and see what happen?

2). We can stay in our comfort zone and be nudged along by change, or decide to step on the accelerator and go meet the mysterious future you full speed ahead. In this regard, there is no right or wrong path to choose, but if we’re honest, most of us dial up a mix of both comfort and growth.

3). When you do decide to leave the comfort zone, it is very important to be decisive and really embrace change. This excellent diagram depicts what happens when we make a half-hearted attempt at change and wind up in the moat of fear and indecision. Far better to “Change Big”, or just stay warm and cozy at home in you comfort zone - rather than floundering around in the Fear Zone attempting some half-hearted change.

4). Changing your Identity is not as easy as trying on new clothes, but almost! Your external environment can be easily manipulated to match your future identity. Buy some new clothes, go to the new places, read the new magazines, meet the new people who will all be part of your future identity. Method actors apply this powerful technique to transform themselves into legendary stage and movie characters - and so can you.

5). You have different roles, and there is nothing wrong with shaping different identities for different situations. Your professional identity can and often should be very different from your home life identity. No one really enjoys living with the professional trader/doctor/fire fighter etc. who can’t learn to come home and turn off their professional high intensity identity.

6). Some people with high emotional intelligence can intuit what each situation demands, and subtly dial-in their identity by “reading the room”. But for many people, it takes practice and skill to gain control of their identity and even manipulate it as the situation demands.

7). It can feel both exhilarating and frightening to fully grasp how malleable core identity can be. But we can take comfort that this has been the case for ages and ages past. As Marcis Aurelius famously noted - “Observe always that everything is the result of change, and get used to thinking that there is nothing Nature loves so well as to change existing forms and make new ones like them.”

If you want new results, expect new things. In fact, expect and look and seek for a new you! He or she is coming one way or another.